About a month ago, me and my
(now ex) Boyfriend broke up and It was truly the Greatest eye opener of my
life. Of course it was rough moving out of his house, not able to run back
home, limited option for cat friendly homes (considering all my extended family
is allergic to cats). Perfect timing of course with a business trip to Orlando,
FL planned for a couple days following the incident. It was all so
overwhelming! But of course, My ex is one of the sweetest & most
understanding guy I've ever met and allowed me to stay at his house for the few
nights before my trip so I wouldn't have to stress out (more than I would
already be).
While on my trip, having a
lot of time to myself and all my thoughts, I realized why him and I broke up. I
had lost who I was before the relationship, air-go I was not the person he had
originally fell in love with. I stopped making my own plans and would rely on
him for all of my entertainment. I stopped doing the things I love to do like
crafting, painting, dancing, I even stopped singing in the car! (Always makes
me feel better.) I stopped having any goals that were for me and instead
replaced them with goals for "Us" and "Our Future". Nothing
was "I" or "Me" anymore but was now "Us"
& "We". I stopped making plans with my friends but then would
complain when I didn't want to hang out with his friends. Basically became
"That girlfriend" or in other words Total Bitch.
Of course, I had to accept my
loss. It was too late to take back any actions or words that were said. I'll
always think of him as one of my best friends and I only want the best for him.
Even if it can't be me...
With that, all I could do was
either make myself miserable or better myself.
Inspired by my co-worker
(*also my boss's son* we'll give him code name "Conman"), asking me a
question that made me speechless.
"Taeler, do you ever sit
and think 'What am I good at?' "
I thought about the question
and could only mutter out the words: "what do you mean?"
-"Like, what are you
really good at in life?"
I had never been asked this
question before, many time asked about what I like to do, but never what I'm
really good at. I asked him what he is really good at, he of course wasn't sure
either. I told him about how that is exactly what I've been trying to figure
out my whole life and I'd get back to him.
Conman's question hit me
deep...
so,
I chose to be the person I've
always wanted to be!
Me just doing me, no worries,
with all the time in the world! I can try all the projects I've put off and
finally figure out what I, Taeler, am Really good at in life!
Follow in my return I was
picked up by my parents at the airport and they took me to their house. I
stayed there for the night and the next night while I tried to figure out what
my plan was and where I would be staying. Couldn't stay with my parents due to
lack of space, not my grandmother's down the street because she was allergic to
cats (My cats Name is Memow, and he is my Fur-baby), no friends I could think
to call except for Eggie (code name for my girl best friend). She had just
gotten married back in April this year and just had a baby 3 months and 4 days
ago today. I felt like she was the only one I could call, but was afraid that I
would start resenting her for what she had that I had just lost.
Without question, they kindly
accepted me into their apartment to live with them in my time of need. I told
her about my worries and she made me feel soooo much better. Now after living
here for 3 weeks, I have had the opportunity for change. I have started a
"Cleanse" (probably the worst idea I've ever had... ) that i'm not
following 100%...But its taught me several new cooking skills!
I've been feeling really
"In the Christmas Spirit" and have made a wreath (started a 2nd one),
made and mounted paper snowflakes onto the windows, and baked about 3 dozen of
the BEST SUGAR COOKIES EVER!
There have been a few other
side projects, but they were basically just done with extra supplies I had.
You'll see what I'm talking about, don't you worry :)!
A little ahead of myself,
I've created this blog a while ago but now have a great way to use it! This
blog will be the Motivation! I've already been working on some things so I'll
post those first, then just post as completed. This is going to be my workout
log as well ;).
So there you have it, I'm
ready for change!
a Fresh start!
